At the risk of jinxing things, you really have to hand it to the NFL as they — unlike the NBA and MLB — have pretty much avoided a major sports betting scandal.
Sure, Calvin Ridley bet on some games while injured. Yes, a handful of other players, including Isaiah Rodgers, were suspended for betting on games. But these cases just involved players making bets, not throwing games or tipping off members of organized crime as to who is playing or not playing.
While this is a nice feather in the cap of the NFL, it should probably also come with a teeny little asterisk, as I think it’s harder to muck with football despite the (probably) ongoing attempts by people with such names as Black Rob, Albanian Bruce, Pookie, Flappy, Spook, Sugar, and Payso.
The biggest reason — as any football player will tell you — is not playing hard can get you killed out there. When everyone else is going full-speed, if you pull up or slow down or otherwise interfere with the natural flow of the game, you’re putting yourself in harm’s way.
Now obviously, that’s not foolproof. After all, a quarterback could easily miss a few passes on purpose and no one would really know. A wideout could drop a touchdown. It could happen.
But it apparently hasn’t happened, and that’s good.
Because while MLB is dealing with a couple of Cleveland pitchers under investigation for throwing pitches, and the NBA is in the crosshairs of this Terry Rozier-Chauncey Billups thing, I think both leagues will be fine in the end. Baseball and cheating have a rich history and it hasn’t hurt the game, and the NBA is too big globally for this to matter.
But if there were a full-blown cheating scandal in the NFL? I’m not sure the league would fully recover. It’s part of the American religion. Heck, it practically is the American religion.
And when you’re that high on the pedestal, the fall would be steep.
At any rate, yay for the NFL for keeping its nose clean (so far).
On to Week 9. Hold my beer, Albanian Bruce.
The +1000 or more parlay of the week
Another week, another loss. This is starting to have a negative effect on my worldview. I mean, this feature would be a lot cooler if I actually won one of these parlays. Fun fact: Couple of years ago, writing this column for another outlet, I was 0-17. Then I won twice in a row, one in the last week of the season, another in Wild Card week. So let’s not bury me yet.
This week, I kind of love all these picks, for whatever that’s worth. (Narrator: It’s not worth anything.) On FanDuel, give me Chargers giving 9.5 points on the road to the Titans, over 50.5 in the Colts-Steelers game, the Lions giving 8.5 points to the visiting Vikings, and under 52.5 in the Bills-Chiefs game. This is a +1225 parlay.
Rationale: The Chargers, despite having to come cross-country, aren’t going to be the team that the Titans get it together for. I love — love — the over in Colts-Steelers. You can throw on both teams, and I expect both teams to dial up the pass. The Vikings aren’t fooling anyone, and the Lions are ready to pounce. As for the under in the Chiefs-Bills? Just take a look at the last few times these teams have met. It’s the playoff games that get high-scoring and wacky. Both coaches, it would seem, don’t empty out the playbook in the regular season matchups. I love the under here.
Obvious three-team teaser that won’t hit
Down to 4-4 after the Falcons destroyed my, and everyone else’s, teasers last week. But 4-4 is still a profit, as these things are going off at +140 at Caesars. So with that in mind, give me the Lions giving 2.5 points (oy, I have to push through zero twice), Colts getting 3 points at Pittsburgh, and Jaguars getting 3 points in Vegas. I do not love this. Fair warning.
It’s a trap!
Down to 3-5, thought the Steelers would give the Packers a bit of a tougher time, but golly, the favorites just crushed last week so I don’t feel too bad. This week’s trap, to me, is the 49ers favored by 2.5 points in East Rutherford against the Giants. Yes, the Niners are obviously the better team, but this has a “win one for Cam!” feel to it. Plus the Niners coming across the country, plus Jaxson Dart doing his best Josh Allen imitation, plus the fact the Niners are “only” 2.5-point favorites. Add it all up, and while I’m not betting the Giants, I’m definitely not betting the Niners.
Did I win the DraftKings Milly Maker?
Despite enlisting the help of Black Rob, Albanian Bruce, Pookie, Flappy, Spook, Sugar, and Payso, no, I did not win the Milly Maker.
DraftKings DFS plays of the week
I liked Zay Flowers last week. He did fine. This week I like something very, very specific: the Colts’ Daniel Jones, overstacked with Michael Pittman, Alec Pierce, and Tyler Warren with a DK Metcalf bringback. Remember up there when I said I loved the over in the Colts-Steelers game? Yeah. I love it.
Mortal-lock, can’t lose, 900 number, send your money now play of the week
Down to 3-5, had the Bengals last week, which looked good for about 55 minutes. Alas. This week, smashing the Lions giving 8.5 points. I worry for J.J. McCarthy.
