When The Simpsons debuted 36 years ago, PASPA had yet to be repealed. Heck, PASPA had yet to become a law — that was still three years away.
So we can forgive the producers that it took them this long to turn their pop culture laser directly on … legalized sports betting.
Because that’s exactly what happened Sunday night on an episode titled “Abe League of Their Moe,” in which Grampa Simpson and Moe’s Tavern proprietor Moe Szyslak find common ground as fans of the hometown baseball team, the Springfield Isotopes.
As it goes, the Isotopes have had a dismal run for … well, seemingly forever. But the team’s fortunes change dramatically when they sign two-way Macedonian star Aeropos Walkov, son of the village rat catcher, from the Minsk Golems (per Kevin Burkhardt and Kevin Millar, playing themselves).
As teams pitched him on signing with their squad — some using celebrities, such as Chris Rock for the Mets — Walkov settles on the Isotopes because Moe speaks Macedonian. Once he signs, Moe is hired as his interpreter.
If this reminds you of a certain two-way international ballplayer and his interpreter, well, stand by.
DraftPigs app
Everything is going splendidly. The ‘Topes start winning. Bart becomes a fan, much to Grampa’s delight. The stadium naming rights are snapped up by the Swiss chocolate brand Toblerone, taking over from “Hot Tub Accident?” All is well in Springfield until … Moe spies Walkov on a sports betting app, betting on his own team. The app is “DraftPigs.”
“How did this happen?” Moe wonders aloud. “How did you ever hear about sports betting anyway?”
Then, a quick cut to the centerfield scoreboard, which screams “BET MORE!” It’s surrounded by billboards for sportsbooks. Here is the rundown, in no particular order:
- LongshotGimmick.com
- Oprah’s Sportsbook Club
- BookieMonster
- BetYourPaycheck.com
- Carrot Top’s Prop Bets
- FanDrool
- Vig Notaro
- SpreadHeads
- Shohei The Money
- Gamblers Win-onymous
- Ohtani’s Designated Bettor
- DraftPigs
- Major League Betting
- Spread Eagle
- Wager Walrus
From here, we find out Walkov will hold a press conference to admit he bet on baseball. Before that, Grampa has to break the news to Bart that his hero is a “rat.” He begins to tell him something is wrong with Walkov and Bart interrupts him:
“Walkov’s hurt? That means I got an edge. I gotta lay a bet down!”
Bart’s sportsbook of choice is “Prop-topus,” with a cartoon purple octopus.
When Grampa asks Bart how a fourth-grader can bet on sports, Bart tells him that “everyone else is cashing in” and he shows Grampa how he uses a passed-out Homer to face ID his way onto the site. The scene ends with Bart lamenting that “if the Phillies don’t get 3.5 runs today, I’ll have to sell my bike.”
The press conference
We then go to the press conference, where Walkov — speaking in Macedonian — admits to betting on baseball, Moe translates it to, among other things, Walkov’s desire that everyone buckle their seatbelts on their way home.
Grampa interjects, saying look at what this is doing to our kids. Bart comes in all shaky and says he’s “just gambling until I get myself out of this hole and then I’m gonna quit. Until football starts.”
Bart asks Walkov if he likes the Titans at +750 to win the AFC South. Walkov demurs.
Moe finds religion, saying the entire league is in bed with the bookies, even the television networks. We then cut to the reporters, holding microphones. Three of them read “Bet Jazeera,” “E$PN,” and “The FOX Betwork.”
The show ends with Burkhardt and Millar announcing that, after a “thorough 45-minute investigation,” Walkov has been cleared of any wrongdoing and the guilty party is … Moe the translator.
Back at the bar, Grampa notes that “at least Bart isn’t betting anymore,” which is immediately followed by Bart walking into Moe’s, dressed like Sky Masterson from Guys and Dolls, sporting a fat wad, and announcing drinks are on him.
“Well, at least he’s not losing,” Grampa quips.
End of episode. Sports betting gets Simpson-ized, and, as always with the show, it’s funny ’cause it’s true.
